What happened to Quantumleap?

So what did happen to me? Long story short, I got a job, after being unemployed for three months, and effectively homeless for one month, all while moving across the country twice.

Now the long story.

Over a year and a half ago, my cousin who lives in Australia told me about postdoc position at the University of Western Australia in Perth. It was a pretty good deal and fit exactly with my research. I worked hard on that application and put together three stellar pages explaining my research. I must have done something right since they wanted to interview me (by skype). Being confronted with the prospect of moving to literally the opposite side of the earth (Perth is pretty close to the antipode of North Carolina) was rather intimidating. Because I was still expecting to take another year to finish my PhD I didn't tell anyone that I was interviewing for a position in Perth. My wife's parents only found out about a month ago that Perth was a serious possibility for a while. I only told my parents the day before my interview.

In the end, and after much waiting, they offered the position to someone else, and they accepted (I was the alternate). That experience did turn out to be very helpful since the application material that I put together for that position formed the core of all my other job applications.

Then last fall I started looking for other postdoc positions to apply for. I looked for ones that aligned with my experience, and ultimately I was asked to interview for about half of the positions I applied for.

But my big break came in January when I traveled to the annual American Astronomical Meeting to give my dissertation completion talk. While I was there I ran into a professor who I met at a previous AAS meeting. I reintroduced myself and they remembered me and coincidentally had just been reading my paper on their laptop. They wanted to talk to me some more but didn't have time right then, so they told me to email them. I did and they extended an invitation for me to come speak to their department.

So in February they flew me out to visit and give a department colloquium. The trip was fantastic and while I was there they offered me a postdoc position there at the university. The professor offering me the position was aware that I also had interviews lined up in the next few days with other (more prestigious, by their own admission) institutions and insisted that I see how those interviews go before formally accepting the postdoc position with them. Some of the interviews were with people that that professor occasionally collaborated with so they didn't want to snipe me out from under their collaborators.

After a few more interviews in the next week, including one where I was again the alternate, I replied to the offer I had received and said that I would accept. And then I waited. And waited.

About the middle of March I finally got a reply. Someone had become ill and the funds that were intended to pay for my position had to be diverted to cover the replacement for the ill postdoc. So there would be no position for me. Sorry.

So a little more back story. In early February I had been very concerned that I would not be able to find a job and that I would not know where to move my family. I had been praying about it for some time, until in mid February I had the distinct impression that in exactly one month I would have a job offer. At the same time I had a very strong impression not to apply for a particular job. The application for that job was due March 1st, but I had a very strong impression not to apply for the job. In many ways it was an ideal job for me and fit almost perfectly with my research. I also had a connection to the professor offering the position through my advisor (they were friends and former colleagues). So if I had applied for that position I most likely would have received an offer. But I felt a very strong impression not to apply for it.

Not applying for that position didn't bother me because by the time the deadline rolled around I already had an offer so I didn't think anything of it. Exactly one month after I had my initial prompting I still technically had an offer, had accepted it, and was just waiting for a response. Two days later I received the email informing me that the offer had been retracted.

This put me in a bit of a bind because the season for postdoc position deadlines had mostly passed. There weren't a lot of positions left that were still hiring. I desperately tried applying for any and all positions I could find, but this time with a marked decrease in invites for interviews. I did have a few interviews, including one with Oxford in England (by skype, no they didn't fly me out). But nothing came through.

At that time I started applying for temporary teaching positions. Most teaching positions are advertised at the same time as the postdoc positions so I had already missed 90% of the deadlines, but during the summer a number of departments realize they don't have enough professors to cover classes for the fall (i.e. someone unexpectedly leaves the department or gets sick etc.) so they have to do a quick faculty search and hire someone to teach. I started applying for as many of those positions as I could find.

During this time I finished my dissertation, got my second paper submitted for publication and graduated. I still did not have a job. Before I had my defense my home teacher gave me a blessing and in the blessing he mentioned that in the coming months I would find employment and that I would meet collaborators for my research. I also had reassurances through the spirit that everything would work out.

After several rejection letters and still no prospects I was getting worried about not knowing where we were going to move and about getting my kids in school in the fall. As May wore on still with no prospects my worry got worse. At about that time two things happened. The first was I had two friends who work at Los Alamos National Labs and I contacted them wondering if they knew of any positions that I could apply for. They pointed me towards some possibilities that I applied for. The second thing happened as I was reading the scriptures.

As I was wondering about the promise made to me in the blessing from my home teacher I was lead to Enos 1:4-6, which reads,

4 And my soul hungered; and I kneeled down before my Maker, and I cried unto him in mighty prayer and supplication for mine own soul; and all the day long did I cry unto him; yea, and when the night came I did still raise my voice high that it reached the heavens.
5 And there came a voice unto me, saying: Enos, thy sins are forgiven thee, and thou shalt be blessed.
6 And I, Enos, knew that God could not lie; wherefore, my guilt was swept away.

That last line struck me with extreme force, "and I knew that God could not lie."

As May turned into June I still had no prospects, but my friend at Los Alamos informed me that there might be postdoc position that I could apply for and he would let me know the details when they were available. At this time I kind of had a deadline because the lease for my apartment was ending in June and I kind of wanted to know where I would be moving with my family before then.

In June I was able to go to the temple with my wife. While we were in the Celestial Room I had a special experience that let me know that God was going to take care of me and that by August I would have a job. At the time I wondered if the job at Los Alamos would pull through since my friend had told me that if I got the job I would start in August.

Near the end of June, about a week before we had to move out of our apartment, I was thinking about possible jobs and I was thinking a lot about the possibility of working at Los Alamos. I knew that it would be an interesting job. but I also knew that a significant portion of my time would involve simulating nuclear weapons.

While thinking about this and wondering if the possible job at Los Alamos was where I was supposed to be, I was lead to a passage in the scriptures in Alma 24. In that chapter we find the story of the Anti-Nephi-Lehis and how they buried their weapons of war for peace. Usually when people are lead to certain passages in the scriptures, Alma 24 is not the place they are lead to. But at the time that chapter was intended for me. While I was reading it I had a very strong impression that I should not take the job at Los Alamos, even if I was offered one. I was not meant to work on anything related to nuclear weapons. I struggled with that one since at the time Los Alamos was the only place that I had the possibility for a job at that time. Also I knew that my friend was working to get me there. In many ways I would be an ideal job for me, and it would make applying for jobs in the future easier.

At the end of June we had to move, and with nowhere to go we put most of our stuff in storage, put the rest in our car, and began the long drive across the US from North Carolina to Utah. I had no plan other than "Find a job." We hoped that some of the places I applied to would work out, or I could apply for jobs in Utah. Our plan was to live with family until we figured out something more permanent.

On our drive out to Utah we stopped in Nauvoo and while we were there I checked my email (something I had been unable to do for a few days) and I had received an email from Augusta University in Georgia wondering if I was available for an interview. I tried responding to set a time, but I couldn't talk to them by phone since Nauvoo has terrible cell phone reception. So I responded to see if we could arrange a time to talk when I had reception. Unfortunately they said that they wanted to get everything done as soon as possible and make a decision before the 4th of July weekend. So, sorry.

We continued on to Utah and I started looking at places to work. I had one interview that went well with a company in Raleigh (I JUST came from there!) and they were making moves like they wanted to offer me a job. But then July 7th I got an email from Augusta again saying that they were still interested in talking to me. I set up a time, we talked and everything went well. Then I got an email from the chair of the department saying that he wanted to talk to me. When we finally connected by phone it was the 12th and he offered me a job(!). The same day my friend from Los Alamos emailed me and said that the postdoc position was going through and could I give him some information so that he could have some talking points to make the case for hiring me. Even though I was very thankful that my friend was doing that, I told him that I had just received and offer. Thanks, but sorry. It's still nice to know that I had a friend who would do that for me.

So when the dust settled and I had accepted the offer it was the middle of the month, and oh, by the way classes start on the 17th of August and I have to be there by the 8th. So we had less than a month to plan our move across the country (again) find a house and get our kids in school (oh, and by the way, public schools start on the 8th, and you need several documents proving residency to get your kids registered for school). So we drew upon the social capital of the Church, got in touch with the bishops in the area, got some information and got a recommendation for a realtor (two bishops independently recommended the same one).

We were looking into different options, whether to buy or to rent and considering our options when my sister offered to watch our kids so we could go to the temple. While I was there waiting for the session to start I was prompted, very clearly, to look up D&C 48:3. I did so, and this is what it said,

3 And inasmuch as ye have not lands, let them buy for the present time in those regions round about, as seemeth them good, for it must needs be necessary that they have places to live for the present time.

That was perhaps a very unique answer to our question. So we decided to buy a house.

Then after the 24th of July holiday we started driving back across the country to move to Georgia. Before we left we had arranged for a temporary apartment and were planning on buying a house as soon as possible. Along the way we stayed with family and friends, and on the 28th of July we rolled into town about noon, got checked into our temporary apartment, and then went to meet our realtor. We spent all afternoon looking at houses. I won't bore you with the details (as if I haven't already), but over the next week we drove to North Carolina to get some essentials from storage, considered our options and made an offer on a house. The seller responded positively to our offer, and we were able to use the offer letter and a document from Georgia Power to go get our kids registered for school. Four days later they started school. Now in three days I start school as a physics professor at Augusta University. I ended up driving 5,000 miles to end up moving three hours away from where I started.

So if it seems like I dropped off the face of the planet and wasn't keeping up with my blog, you will have to excuse me because I wrote my dissertation, submitted a paper, applied for jobs, moved across the country twice, was homeless for a month, bought a house, and now I have to prepare lessons for a class that I found out a month ago I would be teaching. So I've been busy.

So, what have I learned from this? If anybody asks me, "Do you have evidence of God's existence?" I can honestly say, "Yes. Yes I do. But I don't get to pick the nature of the evidence. I must accept the evidence as it is."

My Blog is not Dead

I know I have not been posting on my blog a lot lately, but this is because I have spent so much of my writing time on my research, writing papers, and my dissertation. That has been occupying my time, and when I get home after spending 8+ hours reading, writing and computing, the last thing I feel like doing is writing a blog post, and I am not into writing fluff.

When I write something for my blog I try to research it fully to make sure I know what I am talking about. This means that many of my posts never make it to a final product. I have 30+ drafts from the last year alone that never made it past the initial research stage, several of which I am planning on finishing. But my first major research paper, my dissertation, and now a second major research paper are taking up all my time and writing effort. Sometime in the next few weeks I may have more time to write, after I get my second paper submitted. Stay tuned.

A sample of posts I am working on:

• Philosophical Fallacies in the Wild: They do exist!
• Actual Legal Controversies Involving Religion
• Chiasmus in Moses 2
• Side-by-side comparison of Moses and Genesis
• The Late Bronze Age Collapse and the Exodus
• The Hypostasis of Faith
• Returning to Hamlet's Mill
• The Fallacy of the Incomprehensibility of God
• Why Troy?
• God as a Gardener

Web comics that I like

I have always enjoyed reading comics, some more than others, but I haven't had a regular newspaper to get my comics for several years. But I was overjoyed when I found that I could read the daily comics online which I have been doing for a few years now.

Somewhere along the way I branched out and got into reading a few web comics. These are comics that do not (typically) appear in a newspaper, but are published online. Someone I know once mentioned that if I like the work of a particular author then I should share their work with people I know so that they can continue to write. So on that note, I present this incomplete list of the web comics that I read (in no particular order). I say "incomplete" because there are several (~30-40) that I read in addition to the ones listed here but they don't rise to the level of "I would definitely recommend this." There are a few others that I would recommend but they have been on hiatus for more than a year and may never come back.

Schlock Mercenary
I stumbled across this web comic about three years ago when someone made a reference to The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates (now known as The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries), I looked it up and discovered Schlock Mercenary. The comic is written and drawn by Howard Tayler, and has been running daily since June 12th 2000. It is not your typical daily comic strip where you can start at any point and just pick it up as you go along. It actually has a (rather complex) story with many characters. Because of this it is described as a comic "space opera" (think "soap opera", but a lot less cheese and more space, and interesting characters). Even though this web comic started out as a side job it has since become the author's full time job, which means he is good enough at it that people are willing to pay him for it. That right there says something about the comic. Following this comic is like reading a long novel that only comes in daily doses. But it is interesting enough to make me want to keep reading it. It is also peppered with my style of humor.

Widdershins
This is actually a collection of related stories. Each one can be read independently, but there is a central story to them all. It is set in a world with magic in a mostly 1800's type world. The story has humor and action and interesting characters that are very likable.

Galaxion
This is another comic that I randomly came across. This one is drawn in black and white in graphic novel format, and updates about once a week. The tag line is "Life. Love. Hyperspace." and it mostly lives up to that by being a rather mellow drama set in space (that's mellow drama, not melodrama, as in it's mellow and it is a drama). I'm not one to read romance anything so that should be some indication as to how much "Love" there really is in this comic (i.e. very little relative to the rest of the story). When I first came across the comic I actually didn't read very much of it before I lost interest. But about two weeks later I came across it again and I read a little more and it hit just the right spot so I went back and read the whole thing from the beginning.

One on the things that I like about this comic is the artwork. The artist does a very good job with her characters. I find them to be very unique (both visually and character wise) and I think that is what got me reading this comic in the first place. The style of art is very distinct, but very expressive. The other thing is that the characters actually look like normal people, that is, they are average height and weight, unlike so many other comics (especially manga and anime) where the people are impossibly thin or super-model-ish. I think that helps make the story more believable.

PhD Comics
What can I say. I'm in grad school so of course I read PhD comics. It's one of the basic requirements to get into grad school. I first saw this comic years ago as an undergrad. At the time it didn't make any sense and I didn't think it was funny. But as I got closer to going to grad school it got funnier and funnier (and not because the comics changed, but because I actually stated to understand. I started to actually have that stuff happen to me.). Now that I am in grad school every time there is a new comic I have to resist the urge to print it out and go tape it to the door of my office since I know that there is already someone somewhere in the department doing just that. Just about every other office door has a print out of a PhD comic on it (that or xkcd, which is next).

xkcd
xkcd is drawn by Randall Munroe, and it is perhaps the most famous webcomic in the world. It especially became well known after the Japan earthquake, tsunami and nuclear disaster when Randall posted a radiation dose chart to explain the radiation levels around the reactors. This got him noticed beyond the science/geek/engineer/slashdot crowd. His stuff is mostly stick figures with many references to science and computers. He also includes some strong language and *ahem* questionable content occasionally, so not for everyone. The comic comes with the following warning at the bottom:

Warning: this comic occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors).

Girl Genius
In terms of online web comics this one sets a high standard. It has won the Hugo award several times. This was perhaps the second web comic that I started reading. It updates three times a week with a full page color spread. It a fantasy/steam-punk comic with some humor thrown in. The story is complex with a rather large cast of characters. The only one who has them beat in terms of number of characters and extent of story is Schlock Mercenary.

Snow by Night
Snow by Night is set in a world that is like an alternate reality of colonial America. It involves magic, spirits, colonial powers, natives and an extensive back story not entirely contained in the comic. The story has been going for five years and shows no sign of slowing down.

Sithrah
This is a new comic. So I don't know where it's going yet, but I read a web comic/graphic novel called reMIND by the same artist and liked it. The artist is also associated with a Bible videos project and has done the art for one of their videos. It's quite good, check it out.

Stand Still. Stay Silent.
This story is set in a post-apocalyptic world where a mysterious illness has killed almost everyone. The last vestiges of civilization are found only in the Nordic countries. The artist is from Sweden, has lived in Finland and mixes in many elements of Nordic mythology. The characters are real and engaging. I think that if a Hollywood executive was forced to turn this story into a movie or TV show they would royally mess it up because the characters and monsters don't fit the standard archetypes. That is probably why I like it. It also has perhaps the scariest monsters I have ever seen in a story, and that is saying something since there have only been two of them in the almost 2 years since the comic started. The first monster didn't show up until chapter 3, and that is probably what made it so scary.

Vattu
This one is special since it is one of the very few that I am actually considering buying the comic in book form. Perhaps in the future when I have gobs of money (ha!) I'll buy the books. The story is set in a world unlike any other I have ever seen. The world, and all the different races, are extremely unique. The story is much more complex than almost any other that I ever read in web comic or book. It is not straight forward and does not do what you would expect. I still remember the exact page where I decided I wanted to buy the books because the character development went from good to exceptional. There are very few stories that can achieve this level of character complexity.

Lady Sabre & the Pirates of the Ineffable Aether
I don't know how to describe this one. It is a mixture of scifi, fantasy, steam punk, western, and pirate adventure. It's been going for four years and it has kept me interested.

Erstwhile
This is actually a collection of short stories. They tell less well known stories from the Grimm brothers. They are short and classic. None of the Disney rewrites here. People do get killed and not everything works out by the final song comes around. Sometimes they just end, because, well, that's how the original story is.

Gaia
This comic is firmly in the magic and fantasy camp. There are wizards, some dragons, people with swords, staffs and horses. The visuals are good and there is enough complexity in the story that it doesn't feel cliche. If it weren't so complex then I probably wouldn't keep reading it.

Paranatual
As the name implies this is about paranormal activity. The story centers on a boy who moves into a town and finds out that he can see ghosts. It is more humorous than scary. It is also shamelessly self referential and poking fun of its more serious aspects. The characters also occasionally critique the artwork of the comic itself which adds an interesting touch.

Chicken Wings
This is a comic in the style of the classic newspaper strip. It is all about airplanes (and some helicopters) so the humor is all flight related. The comic appears in several aviation magazines.


Let me know if you know of any others that are good to read since I am always looking for new and interesting stories.

A Knotty Vine

I found this wild wisteria bush near where I live today. That whole tangled mass in the middle are the twisted trunks of wisteria. It appears that a wisteria vine descended from a tree, now long since gone, put down roots, and then had other wisteria plants grow up around it. You can see the old trunk of the original wisteria vine at the bottom of the most twisted part. Almost everything you see in this picture is part of a wisteria vine, except for the oak tree just left of center. All the other branches and "trees" you see, including the one cutting across in front, and the thick on at an angle on the right is part of one massive wisteria vine. It was an impressive sight to see.

For reference this is a picture of the spot I was standing when I took the picture of the wisteria. You can see the tangled wisteria on the left side.

To Be Pure Before God

[This was a talk I gave in Sacrament Meeting on Sunday, April 19, 2015.]

On Friday I had the opportunity to attend the temple. While I was there I reflected on the preparation we need to go through before we can attend the temple. Unlike our church buildings temples are holy places where only those who are prepared can enter in. For those who were baptized as children they must wait until they are adults before attending the temple. For recent converts they must wait at least a year before entering the temple. This is done so that there may be a space between baptism, receiving the gift of the Holy Spirit; and entering into the temple.

The purpose of this preparatory space is to give us adequate time to feel and experience the gift of God’s Spirit which was given to us after baptism, so that when we enter the temple we are sufficiently pure in spirit that we can understand and enjoy the words of eternal life.

In ancient Israel before anyone could enter into the tabernacle in the early days or temple after it was built, they had abide by a stringent list of requirements before they could be declared ritually pure. In the book of Leviticus we can read about the rules governing all types of impurities. In there the people of God are commanded to separate themselves from all things that are impure. This includes different types of food, dead bodies, diseased bodies, and bodily fluids usually associated with sin, death and illness.

If anyone, especially the priests, were to come into contact with these things then they were ritually impure and they were not allowed into the temple, which is to say, they were not allowed into the presence of the Lord. They were unclean, impure and unfit to enter into the presence of God.

So here we see that the people of God were separated from the presence of the Lord due to their impurities, that is, because they had been made impure by things associated with death they could not abide the presence of the Lord. Because they had broken the commandment they were forever separated from the presence of the God of Life. As the prophet Alma taught,

“For our words will condemn us, yea, all our works will condemn us; we shall not be found spotless; and our thoughts will also condemn us; and in this awful state we shall not dare to look up to our God; and we would fain be glad if we could command the rocks and the mountains to fall upon us to hide us from his presence.” (Alma 12:14)

“But behold, an awful death cometh upon the wicked; for they die as to things pertaining to things of righteousness; for they are unclean, and no unclean thing can inherit the kingdom of God; but they are cast out.” (Alma 40:26)

The great sin of this world is Death. Because all men must die we are consigned to this awful state. We not only die with respect to our bodies but also with respect to things pertaining to things of righteousness. The righteous and just must also suffer this death. President Joseph F. Smith saw in vision an assembly of saints who waited for the advent of their Savior. He said,

“I saw the hosts of the dead, both small and great. And there were gathered together in one place an innumerable company of the spirits of the just.... For the dead had looked upon the long absence of their spirits from their bodies as a bondage.” (D&C 138:11-12,50)

They knew that they could not escape from that prison called death, nor could they cleanse themselves from sin. And that is the awful state that we all find ourselves in.

If death were the last and final state of man, and the end of our story then there would be no hope. But in His infinite wisdom, God has prepared a way for us to escape. Because we have yielded to temptation, the Lord has provided for us a savior that we may be brought forth by the power of the redemption and resurrection, and brought back into the presence of God.

In a vision, the prophet Isaiah found himself before the throne of God. Upon realizing where he was he proclaimed,

“Woe to me! I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty.” (Isaiah 6:5)

Isaiah was overcome because he knew he was impure and covered with the blood and sins of his generation. But Isaiah continued his story,

“Then one of the seraphim flew to me with a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with tongs from the altar. With it he touched my mouth and said, “See, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for.” (Isaiah 6:6-7)

In that moment Isaiah was cleansed from his sins and he was made pure. The holiness and purity of God cleansed and purified Isaiah. He was given the Spirit of the Lord, as a gift, and it purified him and made it possible for him to enter into the presence of the Lord. Because of this Isaiah was able to say,

“The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me; because the Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound;” (Isaiah 61:1)

Herein is the essential thought. Before we can receive the good tidings of great joy we must first be washed and anointed and cleansed from the blood and sins of our generation. Only then can the Lord bind up our contrite spirits and broken hearts. Only then can those who are in bondage, either through physical or spiritual death, be set free. And herein lies our faith and our hope.

As President Smith saw in vision,

“And there were gathered together in one place an innumerable company of the spirits of the just, who had been faithful in the testimony of Jesus while they lived in mortality; And who had offered sacrifice in the similitude of the great sacrifice of the Son of God.… They were assembled awaiting the advent of the Son of God into the spirit world, to declare their redemption from the bands of death…. [when the] Son of God appeared, declaring liberty to the captives who had been faithful; And there he preached to them the everlasting gospel, the doctrine of the resurrection and the redemption of mankind from the fall, and from individual sins on conditions of repentance.” (D&C 138:12-19)

Although we may be unclean and impure, we can become clean through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. During Jesus’s life time he went about touching and healing people who were sick. He did not shy away from those with leprosy. A woman who had an issue of blood came and touched him and was healed. When he went into the room where Jairus’s daughter’s dead body lay, he took her by the hand. When Lazarus had been dead three days Jesus went to the tomb where he lay. In all these cases according to the Law of Moses, Jesus would have been ritually impure, and therefore ineligible to enter into the presence of God.

The only problem was that Jesus was God, and the one who gave the Law. According to the Law of Moses a man was made unclean by coming in contact with death, but if by that contact the dead return to life, is that man still impure? It was the ultimate Jewish legal paradox. In all these cases Jesus was not made impure by the illnesses and death, but rather His purity overcame their afflictions and they were healed. His power and holiness overcame the things of death that separated these people from the presence of God.

By showing us that he could overcome physical ills and death Jesus showed us that He can also overcome spiritual death. There was a man who was paralyzed and his friends brought him to Jesus to be healed.

“When Jesus saw their faith, he said, “Friend, your sins are forgiven.” The Pharisees and the teachers of the law began thinking to themselves, “Who is this fellow who speaks blasphemy? Who can forgive sins but God alone?” Jesus knew what they were thinking and asked, “Why are you thinking these things in your hearts? Which is easier: to say, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Get up and walk’? But I want you to know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins.” So he said to the paralyzed man, “I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home.” Immediately [the man] stood up in front of them, took what he had been lying on and went home praising God.” (Luke 5:20-25)

So as we prepare ourselves to enter into the temple, we must remember that we must first become clean. And we are “cleansed by blood, even the blood of [God’s] Only Begotten; that [we] might be sanctified from all sin, and enjoy the words of eternal life in this world, and eternal life in the world to come, even immortal glory” (Moses 6:59)

Each of us must first be baptized by water, and then receive the gift of God’s Holy Spirit. Then the blood of the Lamb of God, which was offered as a sacrifice for our sins, will cleanse us from the impurity of death, both physical and spiritual. “For by the water ye keep the commandment; by the Spirit ye are justified, and by the blood ye are sanctified”. (Moses 6:60)

May we all apply the atoning blood of Jesus Christ and prepare to enter into God’s presence. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

The Significance of Daily Scripture Study

This morning found me in the waiting room of the NC Children's Hospital waiting for my son to go into surgery. I have the habit of reading a chapter from the Book of Mormon every morning, but this particular morning I had not yet read a chapter. Lately I have gotten up to 3 Nephi and yesterday I had read 3 Nephi Chapter 16 so while sitting in the waiting room surrounded by children with various afflictions waiting to go in for surgery I opened up the Book of Mormon and began to read 3 Nephi Chapter 17.

I learned long ago that God is the Master Planner and knows how to plan all things for the benefit of those who believe, and there in the waiting room of the Children's Hospital I knew, again, that He had planned this. He had planned for months so that I would read that chapter in that place. Many things had to happen so that I would, but God knew.

This is the significance of daily scripture study. It is a tool in the hand of God so that he may use it in the right place at the right time to answer questions, to give reassurance or comfort, or to teach.

3 Nephi 17:

1 Behold, now it came to pass that when Jesus had spoken these words he looked round about again on the multitude, and he said unto them: Behold, my time is at hand. 

2 I perceive that ye are weak, that ye cannot understand all my words which I am commanded of the Father to speak unto you at this time. 

3 Therefore, go ye unto your homes, and ponder upon the things which I have said, and ask of the Father, in my name, that ye may understand, and prepare your minds for the morrow, and I come unto you again. 

4 But now I go unto the Father, and also to show myself unto the lost tribes of Israel, for they are not lost unto the Father, for he knoweth whither he hath taken them. 

5 And it came to pass that when Jesus had thus spoken, he cast his eyes round about again on the multitude, and beheld they were in tears, and did look steadfastly upon him as if they would ask him to tarry a little longer with them. 

6 And he said unto them: Behold, my bowels are filled with compassion towards you. 

7 Have ye any that are sick among you? Bring them hither. Have ye any that are lame, or blind, or halt, or maimed, or leprous, or that are withered, or that are deaf, or that are afflicted in any manner? Bring them hither and I will heal them, for I have compassion upon you; my bowels are filled with mercy. 

8 For I perceive that ye desire that I should show unto you what I have done unto your brethren at Jerusalem, for I see that your faith is sufficient that I should heal you. 

9 And it came to pass that when he had thus spoken, all the multitude, with one accord, did go forth with their sick and their afflicted, and their lame, and with their blind, and with their dumb, and with all them that were afflicted in any manner; and he did heal them every one as they were brought forth unto him. 

10 And they did all, both they who had been healed and they who were whole, bow down at his feet, and did worship him; and as many as could come for the multitude did kiss his feet, insomuch that they did bathe his feet with their tears. 

11 And it came to pass that he commanded that their little children should be brought. 

12 So they brought their little children and set them down upon the ground round about him, and Jesus stood in the midst; and the multitude gave way till they had all been brought unto him. 

13 And it came to pass that when they had all been brought, and Jesus stood in the midst, he commanded the multitude that they should kneel down upon the ground. 

14 And it came to pass that when they had knelt upon the ground, Jesus groaned within himself, and said: Father, I am troubled because of the wickedness of the people of the house of Israel. 

15 And when he had said these words, he himself also knelt upon the earth; and behold he prayed unto the Father, and the things which he prayed cannot be written, and the multitude did bear record who heard him. 

16 And after this manner do they bear record: The eye hath never seen, neither hath the ear heard, before, so great and marvelous things as we saw and heard Jesus speak unto the Father; 

17 And no tongue can speak, neither can there be written by any man, neither can the hearts of men conceive so great and marvelous things as we both saw and heard Jesus speak; and no one can conceive of the joy which filled our souls at the time we heard him pray for us unto the Father. 

18 And it came to pass that when Jesus had made an end of praying unto the Father, he arose; but so great was the joy of the multitude that they were overcome. 

19 And it came to pass that Jesus spake unto them, and bade them arise. 

20 And they arose from the earth, and he said unto them: Blessed are ye because of your faith. And now behold, my joy is full. 

21 And when he had said these words, he wept, and the multitude bare record of it, and he took their little children, one by one, and blessed them, and prayed unto the Father for them. 

22 And when he had done this he wept again; 

23 And he spake unto the multitude, and said unto them: Behold your little ones. 

24 And as they looked to behold they cast their eyes towards heaven, and they saw the heavens open, and they saw angels descending out of heaven as it were in the midst of fire; and they came down and encircled those little ones about, and they were encircled about with fire; and the angels did minister unto them. 

25 And the multitude did see and hear and bear record; and they know that their record is true for they all of them did see and hear, every man for himself; and they were in number about two thousand and five hundred souls; and they did consist of men, women, and children.

Stories from My Mission: Thanksgiving in Argentina

In my second area of my mission in the city of Sáenz Peña I had been in the country for about nine months. I was with my third companion, Elder Palazuelos, in the area. The neighborhood where I worked was generally very poor, and most of the streets were unpaved. So when it was dry, which was often, we were very dusty, and when it was raining, which was often, we were very muddy. But it was a relatively large city (about 80,000 people) and "el centro" (downtown) area was richer than the rest of the city. Richer is a relative term since it meant that some people were not in danger of starving and may have even had a small disposable income. My area didn't cover el centro so I really didn't get to talk to people who had much money or access to basic resources.

One of the members that lived in el centro, who had plenty of money, had heard from different missionaries about the American tradition of Thanksgiving. He wanted to give the American missionaries a treat so he told them that he could prepare a Thanksgiving dinner for all the American missionaries in the zone. The member happened to live in the zone leader's area so our zone leader let us know that there was a member who was willing to fix us a traditional Thanksgiving dinner. We were all excited to hear this because generally Argentine food was not know for being particularly tasty. We were all looking forward to having something different and to celebrate Thanksgiving half a world away from our families.

As Thanksgiving drew near our zone leader let us know the details about when and where the dinner would be held. Unfortunately for our zone leader, Elder Adams, he found out that he had a zone leader conference he had to go to so he was quite disappointed that he would miss it all. The day before Thanksgiving Elder Adams left for Resistencia and his companion stayed with Elder Palazuelos and me.

The entire week of Thanksgiving was wet and rainy and miserable. My companion was sick a lot so we couldn't get much done. I think that week we only managed to log 18 hours of actual missionary work with one lesson taught the entire week (it turned out that my companion really was really sick, he wasn't faking it, he eventually had to go home because of it, like it was potentially life threatening kind of sick).

Thanksgiving day I spent with my companion and with the zone leader's companion. At one point the other Elders in the zone showed up and my companion went with them to take care of business and I was left with the zone leader's companion, and that is another story for another day.

When the zone leader had arranged with the member to have Thanksgiving dinner Elder Adams had clearly told him, "The most important part of Thanksgiving dinner is the turkey. You have to get a turkey." The member told Elder Adams that he would have no problem getting a turkey since he knew a farmer who raised turkeys and was willing to sell him one. Elder Adams explained to the member the importance of the turkey and said, "If for what ever reason you can't get a turkey, then get a duck. If you can't get a duck then get a chicken. The important thing is it's a bird. It has to be a bird."

So in the evening we traveled to the member's apartment (bigger than most houses in Argentina) to have Thanksgiving dinner. All of us were thinking of turkey, which had been promised to us, rolls, mashed potatoes, corn, stuffing, pumpkin pie, and all the other goodies that somehow are entirely absent in the Argentine diet.

We got to the apartment and the member and his family greeted us warmly and then said, "Sorry Elders, we couldn't get a turkey. So we got a pig. It's in the oven."

Fortunately they didn't speak English so they couldn't understand what the American missionaries said. We were good natured about it but we were all a little like, "Really? You couldn't get a bird? Any bird would do." Further more the "rolls" were standard Argentine stick bread (bought by the kilo). The potatoes were boiled but not mashed (and not seasoned, not even salt). The pumpkin pies were bought from a local bakery, where apparently the baker had never heard of the invention of sugar, or salt.

Then the pig came out.

It still had the hair on it.

Not that it had much hair to begin with, but what hair it had was still there.

Then they served it to us.

My slice came from right near the surface. It had about 3-4 inches of fat covered in 1/2 inch skin (still with the hair on it) and then the barest trace of meat on the bottom.

I didn't eat it.

I think the only thing good about the dinner was the canned corn.

Then for an after dinner treat they served us a drink called Anana Fizz. The members in Argentina like it since it's like Sparkling Cider, but pineapple flavored. The great selling point for members of the church is that it is "alcohol free", which as I found out later, "alcohol free" in Argentina means less than 3% alcohol. So not really "alcohol free". I think all the other Elders woke up the next morning with headaches. They blamed it on the food. I read the label on the bottle carefully in the middle of my second glass, and I didn't have any more after that. I woke up the next morning just fine.

Elder Adams, who was so upset to miss Thanksgiving dinner returned the next day. Heard all about our misadventures, and then didn't feel so bad about going out of town for a zone leader conference.

Stories from My Mission: "It seems you have a lot of doubts"

This experience comes from my first area in the town of Bella Vista, Corrientes. I was with my second companion Elder Bullock (we also happened to have graduated from the same high school). One day while out tracting we ran into a man who did not seem interested in talking to us at that time but was very enthusiastic about us coming back later that evening. Because we didn't have anything else that evening we agreed.

A few hours later we arrived at his house and he was still eager to talk to us, and demonstrated his interest by bringing out a few books to use in the discussion. In retrospect I don't think any first discussion I had on my mission ever went well when the person was excited to talk to us. The discussion started like just about any other discussion. We talked about the Church and Joseph Smith. At one point we read a scripture from the Bible and the guy asked if he could see my companion's Bible. As missionaries we were aware of the common criticism against the Church that we use a different Bible (we don't, at the time we used the Reina-Valera 1960 version) so my companion handed over his Bible so the man could see for himself that we have a standard Bible.

The man quickly took the Bible, opened his own and began to compare the title page of his Bible to ours. He began counting the number of books and because he was comparing our Protestant derived Bibles to his Catholic Bible he came up with a different number of books (seven to be exact). Whereupon he handed back my companion's Bible and declared that it was wrong because it was incomplete. To which my companion replied, "Oh really? Do you know which books my Bible is missing?"

"No." he replied.

"Do you know what is in the books that your Catholic Bible has that mine doesn't?"

"No." again was the reply.

"Then how do you know that our Bibles are wrong?"

"But your Bibles don't have the correct number of books!"

"But if you don't know what is in those extra seven books then how do you know that we are actually leaving out something important?"

Realizing that this line of attack wasn't getting him anywhere and that it was actually demonstrating his ignorance rather than ours he switched tactics. He changed the topic by bringing up polygamy. He said that we could not be Christian since we practiced polygamy. My companion assured him that we do not currently practice polygamy. The man insisted that we still do practice polygamy.

Intrigued my companion asked where he was getting his information. At this point he pulled out a little book from his stack of books. Essentially it was a primer on different religions written from a Catholic perspective. The section on Mormons was, shall we say, severely lacking in logic and relevant factual information. He read us a few paragraphs from his book and in that selection he read a quote that essentially stated something to the effect, "There are X number of polygamists living in Utah. Of the people in the state Y% are Mormons. Therefore Mormons still practice polygamy."

Even at the tender age of 19, without ever taking a class on logic, I knew this was bad logic. I pointed this out to him and he became defensive. My companion, a bit amused at his lack of logical rigor, asked where his book got the quote from. He said something that neither one of us could understand. He read the source again from the book but we couldn't make out what he was saying. I asked to see the book and he handed it over. I found the quote and read the source. It was from the Ladies Home Journal, from the 1920's or 30's. At this point my companion laughed out loud much to the confusion of the man we were talking to. My companion had to explain what the Ladies Home Journal was to him (I think my companion called it "Chisme de las mujeras." "Ladies gossip."). Our adversary was beginning to realize that he probably hadn't picked the best resource for a gospel fight. He was about to learn that he was seriously spiritually out gunned.

We went back and forth for a bit but we realized that we weren't getting anywhere. He offered a few more arguments, but eventually his arguments devolved into general objections against religion and not just our religion in particular. He was also realizing that he actually didn't have any good arguments.

It was at this point that my companion commented and said, "It seems like you have a lot of doubts."

He hung his head slightly and admitted that there was a lot of things he had doubts about.

What followed was one of the most powerful testimonies I ever had the opportunity to hear on my mission. My companion leaned forward and said, "I know that what I believe is true. I know that what we have in the scriptures is the word of God. I have no doubt in my mind that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God and that he translated the Book of Mormon. There is no doubt in my mind about God and His Church on the earth. You may doubt but I have no doubts about what I know and your doubts and what you don't know can never change what I do know and what I don't doubt."

The man, struck by the forcefulness of my companion's testimony compared to the weakness of his own doubts quickly shot back and threw up a defensive wall of, "No! I actually do know things!" and "I don't have any doubts." But it was to no avail we both had heard him say in all honesty and sincerity that he was full of doubts. We wished him a good night and left.

Stories from My Mission: How I Knew the Book of Mormon Was True

I grew up in the Church which means I always remember going to church and hearing about the Book of Mormon. My family also had daily scripture study which mean that we would all sit together as a family and read at least a verse from the Book of Mormon. I learned about it in Sunday School and Seminary and it never entered my mind to ask whether or not the Book of Mormon was true. I never doubted that it was true or that it was anything other than it claimed to be so it never occurred to me to pray and ask if it were true. I might as well prayed to know if the sun was shining (considering I grew up in Arizona it is not something I would ever doubt).

For a good portion of my time growing up I got to hear the experiences and testimonies of young men and women who left on missions and then came back. I think there was a period of time when we averaged four or five mission farewells or homecomings every month. There were many, many return missionaries who talked about how they learned that the Book of Mormon was true. Some had very powerful life changing experiences that they related to us. Some had experiences that lasted an entire night. Others told how it happened very suddenly and could point to a specific time when they "knew".

Despite all of these stories I never had had a similar experience nor had a specifically looked for it to happen. I never thought about it because why would I ask about something that was as obvious as the sun?

When it came time for me to put in my mission papers I was just starting at BYU. I had had plenty of spiritual experiences in my life. There was a lot that I knew as a matter of fact and faith, but I had never attempted to pray to ask if the Book of Mormon was true.

After I entered the MTC I was submersed in a climate of faith and spirituality. It permeated everything we did. Everything we did became an extension of our faith. Everything, from our meals, to our sleep, to our service, to our exercise, to our learning was focused on faith and spiritual knowledge. We spoke it, we cried, we bore testimony. There was nothing that we did that was not infused with the spirit. It was at that time that many of the missionaries around me began to talk about how they had prayed to know if the Book of Mormon was true and had received an answer. It was something mentioned in our language classes. It was mentioned in church, in testimony meetings, in devotionals, in choir practice. Everywhere we were reminded that we were to bear testimony of the the Book of Mormon and that we could not do that if we did not have a testimony ourselves of whether or not it was true.

I think at the time there were several Elders in my district who had had powerful experiences while in the MTC and told the rest of us about their experiences. Even though I participated in the testimony meetings and added my voice to theirs in witnessing that the Book of Mormon was true I had never prayed to know if it was true. I had never had a powerful experience confirming the truth of the Book of Mormon to me. I had never had my "Alma moment" as it were.

The more I thought about it the more I thought that I should ask God whether or not the Book of Mormon was true. But why would I ask about something that seemed so obvious? I wrestled with this uncertainty for a while (about two days, I tend to be indecisive) before one night I decided to pray to ask God if the Book of Mormon was true. I knew the pattern, I had to read it (check). I had to ponder about it (check). I had to remember how merciful the Lord had been (check). And then I had to ask.

After reviewing Moroni 10:3-5 again I knelt down and prayed to know if the Book of Mormon was true. Immediately I got my answer. God said, "What are you asking me for?!? You already know it is true!!

Immediately I felt silly for giving in to the "need to ask" mentality. I had always known it to be true so I never had to ask. I did not have to ask about something that I never doubted.

Since then the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon has been demonstrated to me in a multitude of ways. I have learned more than I ever thought I could and I learned things that I was not even aware that I did not know or understand. What God was trying to teach me is that I do not have to return to the same things that I already know but that He wants me to inquire after things that I don't know so that He can teach me. Line upon line, precept upon precept. I also learned that when we pray God will answer us in the language that we understand. He knows us so well that He can answer us in the way that will have the most impact and meaning to us. He would not say the same thing to others who ask but He said it to me because He knew that I would know and understand. That is the way of God and the voice of the Spirit that we must learn to recognize.

Hearing the Voice of the Spirit

I have just a short story to tell today. On Monday morning I was getting ready to go to work when the thought came into my mind that I should go to the temple and that I should go the next day (Tuesday). As I thought about it I wondered if it had to be on Tuesday or if I could go any other day. But the thought came back stronger than before with the distinct impression that I needed to go in the evening specifically. At this point I began to think if it were possible to go on either Thursday or Wednesday and again the thought returned that I needed to go on Tuesday in the evening.

By this point the thought was strong enough that I knew I was not dealing with my normal "What am I going to do this week" thoughts. There is a very distinct difference between my own thoughts and the voice of the Spirit. It is something that I have learned to recognize over the years. It is not something that is learned immediately but it is something that must be learned over time. After enough experience you can learn to recognize the voice of the Spirit much in the same way that you learn to recognize the voice of a good friend. You would not mistake your best friend who you see and talk to every day for a stranger nor would you recognize a stranger as a friend. I don't mean that you might not recognize your friend in a crowd or see someone out of the corner of your eye and think it was your friend. I mean you would not mistake your friend for a stranger when you are focused on them and have been speaking to them for more than 30 seconds. To learn the voice of the Spirit is to know him as you would know a friend. In a conversation with out distractions his voice is as clear as the voice of a friend or family member.

So I wondered if it had to be Tuesday afternoon/evening-ish or if I could be any other day or even Tuesday morning (because I was open Tuesday morning). But again the thought came back that it had to be Tuesday and I knew that I would be leaving in the afternoon and get back in the evening.

I finished getting ready to leave and I went to check my email and that is when I saw a message from the Elder's Quorum President in my ward. The young men and young women were having a temple trip and they needed volunteers to help out with the temple trip. They were meeting at 5:00 pm on Tuesday and needed to get to the temple by 6:00. As soon as I saw the email I knew that I needed to go and help and that was why I had been prompted to go. I responded to the email saying that I could help. It turned out that we had barely enough Melchizedek Priesthood holders to help. We actually needed one more and a temple worker had to fill in. The Raleigh temple is a small temple and there aren't a lot of temple workers so if a youth group shows up and they don't have enough leaders or volunteers to help then it is hard for the normal temple workers to also help the youth group and do their normal work.

It was a small thing but the Lord knew that they needed help and He knew that I would listen. Sometimes His instructions are very specific and sometimes they are not, or even occasionally entirely absent. But His Voice is always clear once you have learned to recognize it. As clear as the voice of a friend.

I wrote a guest post

I wrote a guest post for the blog Warfare and the Book of Mormon, which is written by Morgan Deane. My guest post grew out of comments that I made on one of Morgan's posts where he was looking into what arguments Amalickiah may have used to work himself into a position to be king of the Lamanites. I made some comments and then developed them into a post about the social and political situation that the Lamanites were in when Amalickiah showed up and how that allowed him to become king of the Lamanites.

This is part 1 of 2. I'll post again when the second part goes up. Go take a look by following this link.

So I took a break from blogging

Things were a little crazy with holidays, illnesses, travel, research, presentations, life and stuff so I took a brief break from blogging for a while, but I think I will start back up. So if I haven't responded to your comments, sorry (and if I never seemed to respond to your comments anyway, sorry as well, I do read all comments and I appreciate them, even if I don't always respond). I just have to get back into writing.

Stories from My Mission: The Spirit Leads Me to People

I was in my first area of my mission in Bella Vista with my mission trainer, Elder Tenny, when I had my first experience with being lead by the spirit to find someone who needed to hear the gospel. This was not the first time that my companion and I were lead to find someone but this was the first time that the spirit worked through me and not my companion. I don't remember how long I had been on my mission but it was probably about 10 weeks into my mission.

We were having a hard time finding people to talk to and a number of appointments "fadged" us. ("fadge" is a Spanish speaking American missionary slag word that comes from the Spanish word "fallar", which means "to fail" or "to let somebody down". In Argentina the double l (ll) is pronounced with a strong "-sh" sound so it would sound like "fashar" and when someone didn't keep an appointment that we made we would say "nos falló". That word, "falló", got corrupted by American missionaries and we would say "Someone 'falled' us" which, if you remember the double l has a "-sh" sound so it would sound like "fash-ed" or "fadged".)  If I remember correctly we had something like 20 appointments fadge in one week, so we were feeling a little down.

One morning I was thinking and praying about what to do and I looked over at a big map of Bella Vista we had on the wall of our apartment and I started thinking about where we could go to find people. While looking at the map I had a strong impression that there was a specific place on the map where we should try tracting. I remember two streets standing out in my mind and where they crossed I felt that we should go even though I had never been there nor even walked down either street. I was unsure if I really had the impression so in my mind I rephrased my question and I again felt that we should focus on a specific corner where the two roads crossed. I looked at the map and considered that specific block where I had the impression that we should go and in my mind I asked if we should focus on that entire block or on the two streets and where they crossed.

The answer came back that it was that block specifically but that one corner of it was the place that we should go. To make sure I again asked in my mind if that was the place where we should go and I even asked about the surrounding area and about the rest of the block. The spirit again impressed on me the importance of those two specific streets and where they crossed and it even indicated the exact spot on the block where we should go. By this time I was convinced that that is where we were supposed to go so I pulled out my small copy of the city map that I kept in my pocket and noted the place and then continued getting ready for the day.

We had one person that we wanted to try and visit that morning so we went there first, but they were not home. We tried clapping at a few houses but no one was home. At this point Elder Tenny looked at me and asked it I had any ideas. I had not told him about the impression I had that morning but I pulled out my map and recalled where the spirit had indicated. I again considered the location and wondered if we should focus on the entire block or just on the one corner. Again the spirit indicated that we should go to the corner it had indicated before.

I pointed out the location on the map to Elder Tenny and said that we should go there. I was still mostly unfamiliar with the area so I really didn't know the best route to get from where we were to where we needed to go. When I pointed to the spot on the map Elder Tenny said "OK" and headed out. I think by that time he was discouraged enough that when his junior companion pointed out a seemingly random location on the map he didn't ask any questions. I just told him that we should go to that specific city block (it turned out to be a bit of a walk, about 1 km from where we were).

After walking for a while we came to the block that I had indicated to Elder Tenny. He pointed it out but I realized that we were at the wrong corner of the block, we still needed to go one street over to the next corner. Because I still wanted to see if the impression I had was correct I said we could try starting at the nearest corner of the block even though the spirit had indicated to me that we should go to the next corner. We clapped at the house on the corner but no one answered. Elder Tenny was still rather discouraged and probably would have given up on the seemingly random suggestions from his junior companion. After no one answered our clap I pulled out my map again and again the spirit confirmed that we were at the correct block but the wrong corner.

I told Elder Tenny that we needed to go to the next corner and he acquiesced without a comment and we walked down to the other corner. At the corner I again asked in my mind if this is where we were supposed to be. Again the spirit indicated the same as it had done before. We went over to the first house and clapped. A young man came out and we talked for a while and explained who we were. He seemed interested in our message so he agreed to have us come back. At the second house a middle aged man answered and again we talked for a while and he agreed to listen to us so we set another appointment. At the third house a women with a few small children answered. We talked for a while and she told us that she would like to talk to us, but that she would be at her parents house for the next few days in a place called barrio EPAM. Because it was a place where we would go about once a week we agreed to stop by.

The next house there was a man who came to the door. We talked briefly and he agreed that we could come back later and talk to him. We had spent an entire week with little success and in less than an hour we had met, talked to and set appointments with four new people all in a row. After the fourth house there were no more houses on that side of the street. My companion newly energized by our string of "good luck" decided that we needed to cross the street and keep going. I knew that it was pointless because the spirit had instructed me to only go that one corner and after the fourth house it told me that we were done. We tried clapping a few more houses in the area but no one wanted to talk to us.

Of the four people that we found that day we never were able to find two of them after that. The young mother we talked to was one of the people we never saw again, but we did pass by her parent's house a few days later and talked to them. They listened to a few discussions but were never very interested. The only member of their family who would talk to us was their teenage daughter, who was one of the most intelligent people I ever met in the area. More than anyone else she was willing to read and study the Book of Mormon. She had a sharp mind and over the next few months with my new companion Elder Bullock we had some of the most intellectually stimulating conversations that I ever had on my mission.

When some of the members found out that we were teaching her they were very surprised because she was known as the "popular, but dumb" girl in their high school (think ditzy cheerleader). They had no idea that she was actually very smart. She managed to read through almost the entire Book of Mormon in a few months. We taught her for a few months until one day we passed by her house and her parents informed us that she had run away to Buenos Aires with her boyfriend. She had not even bothered to stay and finish high school. I never found out what happened to her, but I know that through a unique chain of events that started with a prompting to go to a specific street corner we were supposed to meet her and teach her about the gospel and about the Church.

I don't know if any thing ever came of the other people that we talked to that day, but I do know that I was lead very specifically to that location. I would use the feelings and promptings that I had that day as a reference throughout my mission when ever I was prompted to find people. It was something that happened many times on my mission, and that is where I first learned to listen to those promptings.

Stories from My Mission: I Enter the MTC

So this story isn't strictly from my mission, but is about the few days right before I entered the Missionary Training Center (MTC).

The actual act of entering the MTC is the ultimate step before you are really committed to being on a mission. Even though the missionaries are set apart usually the day before, or perhaps sooner, and are thus technically missionaries, it is not until they enter the MTC that there is a real feeling of being on a mission. It is an almost indescribable feeling. For all missionaries there are always the last minute things ("Did I pack everything that I need?", "Do I have all my shots?" etc.) and it was the same with me except my last few days were perhaps more hectic than most other missionaries.

At the time I was attending my first semester at BYU and when I submitted my papers to go on a mission I set my availability date at the end of my first semester after finals were done. But when I got my mission call my entry date into the MTC was Dec. 19th, which was a Wednesday, in the middle of finals, and before my listed availability date. Finals week started on Monday of that week and went through Friday. I had 5 classes, with one final scheduled for each day of the week. This meant that my entry into the MTC would conflict with 3 of my 5 finals. Fortunately I was at BYU and all when I explained my predicament to my professors all of them were willing to reschedule my finals.

So from Monday to Wednesday this was what I did.

Monday:

Take geology final first thing in the morning (note: On the syllabus they were quite clear that the final could not be rescheduled for any reason. They were adamant that the final had to be taken at the scheduled time. When I asked my professor about it he was unsure about it (it was a department final) but after asking the department he told me that the final was in the testing center and I could take it any time during finals week. Thus the claim that the final could not be rescheduled for any reason was completely false...grrr).

Second, take mission prep final (This class was with out question the second worst class that I took at BYU. The teacher was a marriage counselor in his day job and thus he kept turning it into a "marriage prep" class rather than mission prep. But he never actually went the full marriage prep route and it just turned into this mish-mash of wobbly warm-ish fuzzy-ish sentimental-ish "take that and stick it in your spiritual pipe and smoke it", hodge-podge of useless goop. I was not a fan, and I think I got a C.)

Third, take my astronomy final from 2-5pm (Dr. Jones who taught the class told me, after I finished the final and he took a moment to chat with me, that I should look him up after my mission and he would get me a job as an astronomy TA. I did and he did manage to find me 2-3 hours a week as an astronomy TA, which may not have been much but that meant that the next semester when I applied for a normal physics TA position I was already technically an employee of the department which meant that I was automatically hired, despite the fact that I had 1 less year of experience than all the other TAs, and it meant that I was the TA for physics majors that were in the same classes that I was in (or higher classes!) but it meant that I got 4 solid years of TA experience under my belt in just about every class, which greatly benefits be now as it has put me in a position where I have 4 more years of experience than all the other graduate students which means I get first pick of TA assignments. Rather than being told what I have to teach I get to choose what I get to teach, and that is nice).

Tuesday:

In the morning I took my biology final, for my first, last and only biology class that I ever took in my entire academic career.

In the afternoon I took my physics 121 final. Looking back I don't think I did as well on it as I should but I wasn't too worried since I calculated it out and determined that in order to drop my grade for the class from an A to an A- I needed to get below a 30%. In order to get a B+ I had to score below 5% on the final, and if I just showed up and wrote my name on the answer sheet I would be guaranteed a B+ in the class. This was of course after having used the class as my guaranteed 3 hours of sleep each week and not turning in more than 3 homework assignments. I always wondered about those "engineers" who failed the class. Wouldn't they rather go into business? But what did I care? They dragged the curve down and gave me the easiest A that I ever got.

I finished my last final at 4 pm. I went directly from there to the BYU bookstore and there I bought the sound track to the movie Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? The movie was quite forgettable, but the music is still some of my favorite. I went out to my car, put in the CD, and drove around for a little under an hour listening to the music. Then I drove over to my brother's apartment, got changed into my new suit, walked up to the JKHB (which technically no longer exists) and at 5 pm I went in for my final interview and got set apart as a missionary.

I spent the night at my sister's apartment and then Wednesday morning my parents took me over to BYU one last time to say goodbye to my sister and brother in law and then up to the MTC where another sister came with her two kids to see me off.

Can you tell which one is me? Hint, I don't have a pacifier in my mouth.

At the time I was still in the process of getting all of my required shots. There was one series of shots that required 3 shots spread over several months (a hepatitis vaccine if I remember) and I had the first two but had not gotten the third, so on the first day they went ahead and gave me the third and final dose. It turned out that 6 years later that incredibly minor event saved me a lot of trouble and red tape when I was trying to get into graduate school.

You see, in North Carolina where I am currently going to school, state law requires all students to be vaccinated. As a child I received all the standard vaccines and my mom kept a very accurate record of every shot I ever got. Unfortunately my mom is not a certified nurse, so even though the record was very accurate and complete, UNC would not accept that record. So I was facing the prospect of having to get every single shot again to satisfy the bureaucracy of UNC. All my "official" records were spread all over Arizona in who knows what doctor or government office and it would have been an incredibly hard task to track down all those records. But when I entered the MTC I had received one shot. And that one shot went on my record at the BYU health center, and that was the only nurse certified record that I had access to. So I went there to talk to a nurse and get that one record. While I was there I explained my predicament and asked how I might go about tracking down my record. She looked at the meticulous record that my mom had kept of every shot I ever received, and she thought about it for a second and then offered to enter all that information that my mom had kept over the years into the computer (she was only a certified nurse, and not a nurse practitioner, which meant that technically she was not allowed to do this, but she did it anyway). So she sat there and entered everything into the computer, put it all in my file and printed it out. She signed it (again, I think NC state law required the signature of a nurse practitioner but we were already up to our eye balls in "irregularities" and she didn't want to have to track down and explain to a nurse practitioner what was going on so she just did it).

The only reason why she was able to do that was because I had received that one shot on my first day in the MTC so I was already in the system and she just had to "amend" my file. UNC accepted my new file because it was on official health center letter head and had some sort of signature at the bottom, despite the fact that all the information came from the exact same source that they had strenuously told me was unacceptable.

In so many small ways my experience of entering the MTC was crazy and stressful, but there were the tiny things (me getting to talk to Dr. Jones about getting a job, and me getting a shot) that turned out to be tender mercies much later in my life. There were so many other things about my mission, the people I met, the companions I was with, and the areas I was in, I would have never had those opportunities had I not entered the MTC when I did. Even though from an outside perspective the timing may have been very inconvenient it did in fact make it so that so many things were timed just right during my mission and after my mission so that many opportunities were made available all because of when I went into the MTC.

It kind of made up for the fact that the day I went into the MTC was the same day that the first Lord of the Rings movie came out. But it was OK since I came home and was able to watch the first two in quick succession on DVD and then go see the third one in the theater. Well worth the wait.

Stories from My Mission: The Spirit of Discernment

This story is perhaps a little different from the others that I have so far shared. It is a little more personal and deals with the spirit of discernment. The spirit of discernment is one of the spiritual gifts listed in D&C 46 (actually more properly the discerning of spirits) which in my experience is the ability to discern the disposition and unspoken thoughts of any spirit, both embodied and disembodied spirits. It is a rare and powerful gift that should not be taken lightly.

This story took place in the city of Barranqueras, my last area of my mission. It was perhaps my second or third week in the area since I was just getting to know everything but I was not yet familiar with all of our investigators. There was one particular family that we had visited maybe once or twice, always very late in the evening when it was very dark out. In order to get to their house we would walk down the levee that kept the Río Paraná from flooding the city, and then just past the local soda pop bottling plant we would drop down into a very dark neighborhood (the same one where I later met and taught the local crime boss).

My companion had been teaching this family for some time before I got to the area, and when I arrived we had had one or two visits with a minimal amount of teaching. We then had a period of time where we could not find them at home because of illness and other things, until one day we managed to set a date to visit with them and have a real charla (missionary lesson). We arrived at their house at about 8:00 at night. The husband was finishing up something in the back room and said that he would be right out. We chatted with the wife and their kids for a few minutes while we were waiting for the husband to join us.

My companion was excited about this family since they were a complete family (with the parents actually, legally married, which was a rare thing in Argentina). They seemed like great people and I was happy that we had a complete family to teach. For my companion I think it was a point of pride that he had found and had spent so much time carefully teaching this family and that they were receptive to our message. He was hoping to extend to them that evening the offer to get baptized and was hoping for the best. I did not know them very well so I couldn't say one way or the other how they would react to the offer.

While we were waiting I remember sitting there at their kitchen table letting my companion do most of the talking not focusing much on anything. That is when I began to feel different. It felt almost like Déjà vu but without the feeling like I was remembering anything. It was more like I knew what was about to happen, and my sitting there listening to the conversation was like listening to and watching a replay of an event that I had already seen. I remember distinctly the husband coming into the kitchen and hesitating at the door way for a moment and then returning to check that he had actually turned off their washing machine in the back room before coming and sitting down with us.

As I sat there and looked at him I began to see what was about to happen. We chatted for a few minutes before my companion began the charla. I knew that it would not get far and indeed it was only three or four minutes before the discussion changed into something else. The husband was not vocally expressing any doubts and my companion still had great confidence that they wanted to get baptized. Even though I did not know them very well I could discern that they would not get baptized, and there was nothing that I could do about it. As my companion continued to talk and teach them it came to my turn to teach. At this point the feeling I had been having became even more intense to the point that I could discern everything in the room with perfect clarity. I still recall every detail of the room as it has been burned into my memory.

As I sat there with this intense feeling washing over me the conversation came into such sharp focus that in an instant I was able to discern the entirety of the conversation from the point that I began to speak to the point that we left the house. I knew everything that would be said before it was said. I knew the reactions of each person, including my companion. When it was my turn to teach I began by asking the husband what he thought about what we had been teaching him. He answered with a rather non-committal answer.

From this point on it was like I was merely reading a well rehearsed script rather than speaking to them. I knew the questions I would ask, and the answers that they would give. I knew their reactions, the reaction of my companion, what he would say to them and how they would respond. It was literally like watching a movie where I had already read the script. There were no surprises. There was no uncertainty. It happened just as I had seen it, down to the very last word.

In response to a further question the husband informed us that he was not really interested in continuing with our discussions. My companion made a plea to get him to change his mind. When my companion had exhausted all his options he looked at me. I continued with the script that I had already seen in my mind. To every question and comment the husband responded exactly word for word how I had seen it, and politely, but firmly turned us down. The wife also expressed her doubts but noted that she enjoyed discussing the scriptures with us. After a time we had nothing left to discuss so we said our goodbyes and we stepped out into the night.

I had only seen to the point where we left the house and that is where the spirit left me. It was a powerful and energizing feeling, but also one that took a lot of my stamina. As my companion and I walked along in silence, I marveling at the incredible and unique experience that I had just had, and my companion rather shocked and saddened by the rapid and unexpected change in their willingness to hear our message. After a while I felt that I should say something to my companion since he was on the verge of tears. Here was a family that he had invested so much time, effort and emotion in and they had just told him that they didn't want to hear our message any more. It must have been quite hard on my companion, and made harder by the fact that it was unexpected for him.

For me nothing that happened that night was unexpected. As we walked I tried to figure out if my companion had felt the same thing that I had felt. I asked him if he had any idea that we were about to get shut out. He said that he had no idea, that it was the most unexpected thing for him. I asked him if he had tried to notice or see anything (i.e. discern anything) when he look at the family. He looked at me like I wasn't making sense and asked if I wasn't as surprised as he was. I told him about my experience and about how I could clearly discern everything that was going to be said before it was said.

His reaction, at the time, surprised me. He got angry with me demanded to know how I could be so uncaring about what just happened. I didn't know how to explain to him that I did care about what had happened, but that it did not come a surprise. I again tried to tell him about my experience and how I had clearly experience the gift of discernment, but he would have none of it. He reacted with anger and accused me of being arrogant and unfeeling. I was just flabbergasted.

Now as I look back on the event I realize that the reason why my companion had not felt anything was because he had closed himself off from the idea that this family that he cared so much for were unwilling to listen to him. The Spirit could not get through to him to tell him what he needed to know so in the critical moment it revealed to me what was to happen so that I could be a part of it and witness the event, and give testimony of it because my companion would not. It was something that needed to happen, even though I have no idea why, and the Spirit needed me to know what was going to happen so that I could testify of what had happened. I pray that that was not the final chance for that husband and wife to accept the gospel.

I did go back another time with a different companion but there was never any more interest to talk about the gospel and our doctrine. The wife was kind and respectful but they had made their choice.

Stories from My Mission: Who in the world is Tina Danner?

[Author's Note: Those who have been following my blog for a while may have noticed that I never use my own name on my blog. There really isn't any reason for it, I just like having an "online persona" for my blog. The concept of having a pen name really isn't that uncommon, and in some cases it helps writers from getting their readers mixed up with their other works. So I am going to do something I normally don't do and that is mention my real name, because it is integral to the story.]

One of the subtle things about learning another language is learning how to pronounce the different sounds. Even with Spanish were the alphabet is essentially the same there are subtle differences in how certain letters are pronounced. For example, the most obvious ones that every student who learns Spanish learns right off the bat is the difference in how you pronounce a /j/. In Spanish it is pronounced with like the English /h/. Another very subtle and less known example is the difference in how /d/ and /t/ are pronounced in Spanish.

English has a very hard /t/ sound, and in the most extreme instance it sounds like we are spitting. In Spanish there is no such thing. The /t/ in Spanish sounds almost exactly (or even in many situations, exactly) like the English /d/ sound. It is not as close as the Spanish /b/ and /v/ which are effectively indistinguishable (and of course leads to some of the most common spelling errors in Spanish, and coincidentally a major test of whether or not someone is a native Spanish speaker).

So when I first got to Argentina and I had to introduce myself I would typically say something like, "Hola, me llamo Elder Tanner" with a strong English /t/ (note: all male Mormon missionaries use the title "Elder", even when we are speaking Spanish, which, because it is an English word, causes confusion). In my first area when I first introduced myself to the Church members they would all pause and then ask, "What was your name?" Some of the members had extensive experience with American missionaries so English (or American) names were not that unusual for them. But for others my name was very unusual, and the fact that the /t/ in my name was followed by an /a/ made the /t/ that much more pronounced (my companion's name was Elder Tenny, and he never seemed to have my problem with the /t/, except he had to deal with the fact that everyone wanted to pronounce it "Tennis", because of the /y/ on the end, which in Argentina sounds like /sh/).

In English, if I introduce myself as "Elder Tanner" saying "Tanner" with the normal English /t/ no one notices, since a strong /t/ is common. But in Spanish, the /t/ sounds hard and harsh. Which meant that people would try to imitate the way I said my name and would say, "Elder Ch-anner". There was one member who thought it funny and every time he saw me for the next 6 months would say "Elder Channer" with emphasis on the /ch/ and each time would practically spit his teeth across the room, and then smile slyly like he had just made the best joke in the world. I hated it.

But that was not the only misunderstanding with my name that happened on my mission, which finally brings me to the subject mentioned in the title, how I found out that I am "related" to Tina Turner. Before my mission I had heard of Tina Turner, and I even knew that she sang songs, but if you had shown me a picture of her I would not have recognized her, nor would I have recognized any of her music. After my mission I think I have listened to a grand total of two of her songs. But apparently she was uber-famous in Argentina, as in everyone, even in the most remote hamlet in the middle of nowhere, had heard of her. Even though they had all heard of her, to them there was no difference between the names Turner and Tanner (hey, there's not a lot of difference in English), so I had only been on my mission about a day when I first got the question, "Are you related to Tina Tanner?", except they would say it, "Tina Danner".

The very first time I got the question I was confused, because I had never heard of someone named, "Tina Danner" or even "Tina Tanner". I think my companion Elder Tenny realized the mistake the first time and corrected them and said, "No it's Tina Turner". After that first time I think I was asked if I was related to "Tina Danner" about once a week for the first three months. After that it slowed to about once a month or so, and I typically was asked the same question without fail at least once a month, and sometimes more, for the rest of my mission.

After my first area I learned to say my name with a softer /t/, but apparently in my second area I wasn't saying it soft enough since I still had a few people call me "Elder Channer" or maybe "Elder Danner". By my third area I had fully transitioned over to introducing myself as "Elder Danner" with a very soft /t/ that to an English speaker would sound like a /d/, but to Spanish speakers they could tell the difference, even if the /t/ was practically a /d/. I got a lot less confusion over my name after that.